waiting future?

What waits?

Feel the walls coming closer and closer.

So litle space and so hard to breath.

Mind starting to open up and bring kaos to the feelings inside.

This place im sure is to be my death pretty soon.

Crazy toughts pouring of my mind.

Feelings traped in my own boddy.

What will become of me? is there a future waiting for me? Or will i give in to my disease, and do nothing at al?

The sun goes up and down, and the birds travels in pack.

The water wit the reflection of the sun.

The wind blowing away the leafs.

Hot and cold, but some how magical.

Hundreds of cars driving by.

Wonder where they are off to?

How is life trough their eyes? i wonder.

How have they build`t their sight?

Are they al folowing rutines? And what rutine do i fitt in?

Where do i fitt?

Is there any purpose?

Or is this it?

So mutch misery and complains.

No im not perfect.

What if i could pour out my dark feelings out in the water.

Would it be esier then?

Or will i always remain a cup filld whit toughts and feelings?

Toughts about visiting god a bit eariler has crossed my mind.

But to smart to act upon it.

If only i could shake my self awake.

Would it be bether then?

Dont let go

See you fading.

Its like looking at the hour glas, knowing there isent any time left.

soon it will burst, and the sand will fly away whit the wind.

If i try catching it i would feel it slipping trough my fingers then disapear.

As the light becomes dark in a world whit no time, i feel my self driffting by, whit no coices left.

Not knowing when light will come, im wandering as a lonley soul, there it is no tomorow.

Is it like this in universe?

The stars have other stars.

The planets have other planets .

Im a lonley star that have lost its shining star.

To weak to glow on its own, to weak to clear up the dark.

Faiding in darkness.

I hope in next life ill become a new star next to you my love.

Thank you heart.

Folow your heart.

We know how we look like, but still cant see eatchoter.

We feel so close to eatchoter, but cant be near one an other.

We cry, but we cant comfort.

So close but still so far away.

This wait is making me crazy, god revil my faith.

Trying to fight it trough, But i feel six feet under the surface.

I am crazy dont count on me.

I cant leav.

Its an illucion its not wat it seems.

Follow your heart or follow your toughts.

I care to mutch to leave it behind.

( shes crazy)

If i leave ill dissapear.

( this doesent exist, let i go)

I have made my choice.

Look... who is crazy now?

The child.

The child.

The girl whit the currly bigg hair, and whit the bigg Black eyes.

Hard to love, hard to feel.

It was alot of space taken, so hard to ignore.

Provider played the role well.

For a wile did what she was supose to, then let it be.

Dident it mather? It still doesent.

But even the litle girl could figure out the truth, even knows better now.

The girl couldent fitt in the world of yours.

Frustration took hold because she couldnt be formed.

And then she disapeard from the world of hers and were she is know, you will never know.

The end.

                                                                     How it ended.

The long road ended whit a sacrifice.

To leav what you have or remain cluless.

Shoises brings a prise, but nothing will ever be so perfect.

A road to development from a road of denial.

Im glad i dident let you take my sight away.

I see mutch clearer than ever.

We might be blood, but in the end we make different coices.

Now we are different individuals.

realised.

                                                                I know now.

Who am i ?

is it supose to be this way? is everyone seeing what i am?

Joy laughter, ( whats wrong whit me?)

Have i done wrong?

Its so empty, should it be?

Your so empty, should you be?

Other has it worse, i am lucky.

Hit me once, hit me twice, leav me on the floor its alright.

Sielence its a part of my life.

Its okey.

Ask not for me, miss me not its okey.

Sun goes up , suns goes down.

Knowlege is apart of my life.

..........it wasent ok...

Ghost of the past.

                                            Ghost of the past

Words  whitout meaning, eyes empty inside, anger that makes the ground shake.

Cold embrace, so cold you feel like a ghost, a ghost haunting for something that does not exist.

Its like haunting the dead, sutch an empty evierment that a ghost could feel more alive.

Started to chase the light, a light far away but soon to be mine.

warm, love, life, acceptance and where i am you never know.